I used to imagine that there was a special level of Hell for bad gardeners in which one was forced to weed thistles out of raspberry bushes for all eternity. I’ve since revised my idea of that level of Hell; I’m now convinced it involves weeding those thistles out from under gooseberry bushes. The combination of prickly plants with tap roots (that will grow back in less than a week) and vicious spines gouging eyes, face, and arms is as good as anything Dante conjured.

I spent an hour of my afternoon in this hell, and have the scars to prove it. But the gooseberry bed looks very nice now—neatly weeded and mulched!